Letting the 'man' sleep in his own bed

  We have always had a difficult time getting AJ to bed.  Even as a baby he would get overstimulated and miserable, and just not be able to sleep.  Age, apparently, does not improve this.  I still fight with AJ almost every night to go to bed.

Anyway, as it's been so cold at night lately, and AJ's room has very poor insulation and gets quite cold, we've been making him sleep upstairs in his sister's room.  Fate worse than death for an eight year old boy, I'm sure.  AJ of course, spent every night creeping back down the stairs and having to be taken back to bed repeatedly.  Threats didn't work, taking away his priveleges, no video games, internet, whatever, nothing worked.  The frustration level in the house began to build, again.

 Finally, two nights ago, I got tired of fighting with him, and allowed him to bundle up and go sleep in his own room.  Miracle of all miracles, he went to bed quietly without fighting, and both mornings, got out of bed, also without a fight.  So this morning, I made sure to really praise AJ about how happy I was that he wasn't fighting with me at bedtime, and how nice it was that he got up in the mornings without a temper tantrum as well.  He listened politely and walked away.  A few minutes later, as I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, in walks AJ and says, "See what happens when you let a man sleep in his own bed?"

I almost choked on toothpaste I was laughing so hard. 

Compromise...

So, it's been a while since I've updated anything, but it's been a busy time for the kids and I.  I've starting dating again 'YIKES!', and the kids have been trying to adjust to their new home and new school district.  I think they like the house just fine, and they've been enjoying exploring around town on their own, but the new school, not so much.

 Jaide put a brave face on and told me all about how she had met several of her old friends there and that she was ok, but then she quit doing all the things she loved, like going to the farm with me on Sunday mornings, or even for the hour or so I go in the evenings.  She didn't even seem to really want to go for her riding lesson on Thursday, either.  Big red flags from a kid who never wanted to leave the barn before.

Then there was AJ, who cried non-stop, and started fighting me on everything.  We fought to go to bed; we fought to get up in the morning.  We fought about going to school, doing homework, getting a bath, just about everything. 

Every single day became a fight, and by the end of the first week of school, I was in tears.  This was just not working.  I couldn't think what to do; all I could see was that my children were so miserably unhappy, and I was the cause by forcing them into a new school.  They could go back and live with their dad, but I didn't want to be a weekend parent.  Finally, out of desperation, I texted a friend, hoping he would understand.  Thankfully, he did, and talked me through to a solution that I thought could work for us.

So, phone calls to Art, and discussion with Art and his new girlfriend, and we've got it all worked out.  The kids will be using Art's address and going back to Greenwood.  From now on, Art and I will share custody of the children.  He will have them a week, and then I will have them a week, so we both get time to ourselves, but we both have plenty of time with the kids, too.

It's not officially started yet; the kids will have one more week in Newport, but after this, they will be back at Greenwood.  I'm really hoping this all works out ok.  The kids already seem happier.  So, everyone, fingers crossed for us, that this turns out to be a good, working solution to the hell that was the first week of school at Newport. 

I don't even know who I am anymore

My son has been having some issues lately with temper tantrums, crying and the like everytime something doesn't go his way.  He's been through a lot lately, and I do understand that life has been rough for the kids especially, but that does not mean that I am going to accept his bad behavior as part of life.

Anyway, this afternoon, he was playing a game on my laptop and got frustrated and slammed it shut.  As a punishment, he is not allowed to play on my laptop at all for a week.  Of course, more crying ensued, but on seeing that I was not going to give in, he went about finding something else to do.

I'm thinking he has decided to just get over it and next week he'd be back to playing with his new one hour a day time limit.  Well, apparently, he did not forget, but just decided to wait a bit to try his next angle.  We were sitting down watching tv together and he asks if no laptop means no games at all?

No, I replied, you can still play the Wii and your DS, but no laptop.

He looked right at me, smiled sadly and said, "I don't even know who I am anymore!"  Then giggled and ran away.

Hahaha, good one, but you're still not getting to play on the laptop.  You'll just have to invent a new AJ.

So, perhaps a new AJ will be forthcoming.  I'll have to keep you all posted on that. 

Looking a little thin?

So, it's Friday night, we've been busy all week trying to get packed up and moved into the new place.  Anyway, I'm frantic by now and have barely had time to think and working on shut-down mode, so I had Jaide make popcorn for bedtime snack.  It's relatively easy and I can hear when the popping slows down and make sure she gets it out in time.  So my son starts begging for his own bag.  My reply is, "No, one bag to share is enough."

"But Mom," he replies," I'm looking a little thin."  As he walks over sucking in his stomach so his ribs all show. 

Haha, fat chance I'll believe that!

And in case any were concerned, here is a recent pic of my little guy, who is obviously not starving!!  hahaha

Is your dad's mom our uncle?

This question from my son.  I think he's a bit confused about relatives!  lol  Let me say first, that my biological father passed away when I was a baby, so my children never had the chance to meet him, hence the reason they are not really sure of the relationship there, although they do know his side of the family as well.

Anyway, I looked at him like 'What?!  I think you need to rephrase that.'  So, on rephrasing he asks "I meant, is your dad our uncle?"

Hahaha.  I know it's Perry County and all, but no dear, my dad was not your uncle.  He would have been your grandpa.

Jaide, on thinking about this for a while, asks, "So is Geno (that's my mom's husband) our grandpa?"

"yes, kind of," I replied

Her answer, "Ewwwww!"

"What's wrong with Geno?"

"He's just Geno!"

Oh boy, do I have to get around to explaining what relatives are who to these two.  I would have been mortified if they'd asked that in public!  lol

Happy Father's Day

While I intend this blog to be mostly about my children, and my life as a newly single mother, but I wanted to take a moment to recognize my children’s father today, since it is Father’s Day. We may be separated and working on moving on with our lives separately, we may not see eye to eye and a lot of things, and I may spend a good bit of time being incredibly angry with him, but he has always been a good dad to our children. So I wanted to take a minute to say: Thanks for being such a good dad to Jaide and AJ. I couldn’t have found a better man to be the father of my children.

Some pics of Art with the kids

Summer fun

Not a whole lot going on today.  The kids were supposed to be with their dad, but he's incredibly sick, so I've got them for this weekend, too.  In response to hearing 'I'm bored' about fifty million times, I hooked up their beach ball sprinkler.  It was great fun for the whole 10 minutes it lasted until the ball broke.  Glad I got some pics before it went.

Jaide enjoying a run in the sprinklers

AJ playing in the sprinklers.  Just love his expressions!  :)

And the thumb-wrestling champion is....

AJ… my 7 year old son can beat both his sister and I at thumb-wrestling consistently. Every now and again, I will win one (I‘m not above cheating on occasion), but usually he wins. So, we had a thumb-wrestling tournament again tonight, where he beat both Jaide and me. Then I beat Jaide (without cheating), although it was a pretty close call. Anyway, when asked how in the world he got to be so good, he calmly replied “Games, mom, games”. Lol, I guess those darn video games really are good for something, even if it’s just creating a boy with strong thumbs and good hand/eye coordination!  I'm sure both will be useful at some point in a future career, right?

I've never been so insulted

It’s been kind of a rough day with me fighting yet another migraine and the weather too warm for the kids to want to be out for too long at time, so we decided to stay in and watch movies. Anyway, Jaide learned about the Titanic this year in school and she really wanted to see the movie, so I rented it for her. Well, we pop the movie into the Blu-Ray, and in the first few minutes we are watching the people in all of their old-fashioned clothes when Jaide looks over at me and asks “Mommy, were you alive when they built the Titanic?”

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so insulted. The really sad thing is that for a second, she was totally serious. I just looked at her, dumbfounded for a few seconds. Then she had a minute to think about it and laughed, and said, “Never mind!”

I was like “OMG, Jaide, how old do you think I am?! Mamaw (her great-grandmother) wasn’t even born when they built the Titanic!”

“I wasn’t thinking,” she answered, and had the grace to look at least a little embarrassed.

Blonde moment for a brunette girl! Hahaha

Who would have guessed?

Exchange between the kids while they were playing on the Wii today:

Jaide: I didn’t know those were bad!

AJ: What are bad?

Jaide: Those flaming balls of fire

Me: What part of flaming balls of fire did you think would be good?

Jaide: I don’t know…

Goddess help me, she’s inherited my common sense.  Sometimes, my daughter's lack of common sense concerns me.  I hope it's something she outgrows. 

The Evolution of a Mother

Or at least, that’s how my stepfather referred to it once. It is that transformation from nervous new mom to the been-there-done-that-and-got-the-stain-on-my-t-shirt-to-prove-it type mom. It was not an overnight thing. In fact, it was not until my second child was over a year old that I really had transformed into this new type of mom. It was a gradual, step by step thing that happened, so slowly I barely noticed. It was not until Geno pointed it out to me one day that I realized I had grown into the type of mother I wanted to be. Not the anxious hovering over the baby, calling every five minutes to find out how the kids are type of mom.

I’ll never forget the first time I left Jaide to go out for a drink. She was about two months old, my sister was babysitting for me and the bar that I went to was only next door. I was out for an hour, maybe. Then Elaina called saying that Jaide was crying. Well, that was the end of my evening. I promptly went and retrieved her. I don’t even think I finished a whole drink. Of course, there was nothing wrong with her and once I’d held her for a minute, she was fine, but that was it for me. Once mommy-mode kicked in, I no longer wanted to be anywhere but in arm's reach of my baby. Then there was her first bloody lip. She wasn’t quite a year old, just learning to walk and she fell and just bumped her lip enough to make it bleed. I panicked. My poor husband took the baby and said ‘Go get a cold washcloth for her to suck on.’ Of course, by the time I got back from the kitchen, the bleeding had stopped.

Poor Jaide got all my first panic attacks. First bloody lip, first falls, first high fevers, first stitches. I even dropped her on her head once. Or rather, I fell and she fell out of the baby back pack I was carrying her in and landed square on her forehead (so yes, once again, I‘m not in the running for mom of the year).  I ‘m not sure which of us cried harder that time.  Anyway, I freaked, everytime.  Somehow, she turned out alright in spite of the fact that I badly wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her safe forever. In my defense, Jaide was a preemie, so delicate and tiny when she was born that I was almost afraid to even touch her .

Then along came AJ. At 9 lbs 6oz, he was never the tiny, fragile creature that his big sister was. Maybe that was the difference, or perhaps it really is the fact that I’d already been there with Jaide, so I know what I’m doing. First bloody lip, no big deal. First high fever, still a bit scary, but not a huge deal either. In fact, even the first butterfly stitches didn’t have me panicking. Anyway, it went from rushing home less than an hour after I’d left to check on the baby, to calling every five minutes after I’d dropped the baby off, to calling twice, usually at bedtime and in the morning, to now (and this was where the Geno comment came in) I drop the kids off and run. 

Now when they fall, it's a quick glance to see if they are getting back up or not.  If there are tears, they are kissed away and whatever cut or scrape or bruise they've gotten now is treated with cool water and Neosporin or an ice pack.  I'm not hovering anymore. I'm encouraging them to go play, to learn to amuse themselves, to be independent.  I look back at the ten years I've been a parent and I can see how much I've grown, just as I can see how my children have grown and thrived. 

Now, it seems I am transforming again.  This time into the dreaded 'single mom'.  I worried about my separation from my husband, and what that would do to them.  Would my poor children be scarred for life?  Would the world put a label on them 'children of separated parents', and expect them to conform to the trouble-making, attention-seeking box that the experts all seem to believe these children will fit into?  But, it turns out, my children really don't care much about labels.  It's a bit early yet, but they are still the same kids they were before.  I am confident that we ALL will turn out ok.  

Not Allergies....

And I'm not happy about it, either. 

After my son had a nasty cough for two weeks, our family doctor diagnosed him with allergies (about a week ago) and told us to give him Claritin to help him feel better.  Well, Sunday he ran a low fever and last night (Tuesday night), he ran a low fever again, and coughed until he threw up.  Of course, at that point, I decided AJ needed to go back to the doctor.  So, I called this morning, only to find out that both doctors are out of the office for the entire week.

Frustrated, and not wanting to have to try to schedule an appointment with another doctor who is covering for their practice, I decided to take AJ to the Minute Clinic at the CVS across the street from my office.  Of course, this entailed going home after work, shoving food down everyone's throat, getting both dogs out, and then back in, getting the kids re-dressed and getting back in the car for the 30 minute drive back into the city. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!  Somehow, no one ever cooperates on these kind of nights, either, but I managed without wanting to duck tape anyone and throw them in the closet.

Thankfully, there was no wait at the Minute Clinic, so we got right in.  After a quick exam, the nurse practitioner there says AJ has fluid in his middle ear, and a red eardrum on the right side, indicative of an ear infection.  He also probably has a sinus infection, and from the sound of his cough, possibly the croup, too.  We're given an antibiotic and sent on our way with instruction to see the doctor next week to have them check out the croup part of his illness.

I'm happy now that we have an antibiotic, and I feel sure that AJ will be feeling much better in a few days.  Three weeks is an awful long time to have such a nasty cough. I am not, however, happy with the family doctor.  I never thought that AJ's cough sounded like an allergy cough.  Plus, he never had any of the other allergy symptoms (sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes), but I'm not the one with the MD or DO behind my name, so what do I know?  So I had to pay for yet another doctor visit, not to mention the time and the gas it cost me to run all the way to Harrisburg and back for a visit.

So, that's my mid-week saga rolled into a few short paragraphs.  Thankfully, I only have a 1/2 day of work tomorrow since it's the kids' last day of school, and then I should be working from home on Friday, but either way, the kids are going to spend Thursday night and Friday night with their dad, so I'll have a bit of a break from all the craziness. 

Big sighs of relief here.  I love my children dearly, but I'll be glad of the break this week.

Allergies and other stuff

So, I had my little guy (my son) to the doctor about a week ago for a nasty sounding cough that he'd had for about 2 weeks at that point.  She took a look, said he had allergies and just give him some children's Claritin.  Well, it's been a week now, the Claritin is not doing anything, and now he's running a fever, too.  I'm not a hundred percent positive, but I'm pretty sure allergies don't cause fevers. 

Today, he started complaining about his back hurting, too, and then coughed until he threw up.  My poor baby!  I feel so bad for him.  I'm also feeling like a bad mom for sending him to school coughing like that, but I have to work and at this point, I don't have a choice.  If I send him to school and then they call me to come get him, at least I can have a scheduled 1/2 day instead of a full missed day/call off.

To top it all off, I've been fighting almost daily migraines again.  Last week I had a headache of some sort almost every day of the week.  All that pain tends to make me moody and irritable, so of course, I'm snippy with everyone, including the kids even though I don't mean to be. 

Guess I won't get Mom of the Year this year, either.  Oh well, I don't think I was ever in the running, anyway.  Gonna take myself to bed now.  Hopefully, tomorrow will look better for all.  G'night.

Below my son, being his normal, exuberant self, a few weeks ago.  I just adore his sense of humor!

Undie Boy... or not!!

Apparently, no one has told my son that one size fits all!  lol

It started with the suggestion of a walk. OH, if I'd only known the shenanigans that would ensue shortly thereafter!  Perhaps I would have announced it a little more quietly, or maybe, just maybe, I would have just waited until the next day, since the kids had already been bathed and dressed for bed.  Of course, one can seldom foresee events such as these, and honestly, I'd not change it even if I could...

I'd had a rough couple days, fighting off yet another migraine, and tonight I was finally starting to feel better, so I decided maybe it would be a good idea to get out and get a little exercise. Of course, the kids have already had a bath and my son is now running around the house in one of my old t-shirts when I look up and randomly announce we're going for a walk. Well, you'd think I said we were going to Disney or something the way that boy starts carrying on.  He's suddenly running around the house, looking for his clothes ( you know, the ones I folded and put in his dresser, but apparently, he doesn't know that), jumping up and down and just generally bouncing off the walls. Of course, after seven years of being the mother of this active, excitable child, I'm used to this by now.  So, I'm working on getting my daughter moving and the harness and leash on the dog, and only half way paying attention to what AJ is doing. 

 Suddenly, and seemingly without warning, the boy runs into the living room, yanks up his shirt and shouts "UNDIE BOY!!" Only, he wasn't wearing any underwear. He realized it about a second after his sister and I did, and face bright red, he dropped his shirt and ran for the bedroom, leaving Jaide and I laughing hysterically. Poor kid, he’ll never be able to live that one down.  Even if he tries, I feel it my duty as a good mom to never let it go.  :)

Grandma hair

I was in my bedroom folding socks and my 7 year old son comes bounding into the room, complaining about a spot on his head that never feels brushed, no matter how short his hair is. I take a quick look to make sure there really isn’t anything wrong with his head. Nothing there but a cowlick. So I explain to him that it’s a cowlick and that his grammie and great-grammie have the exact same one in the exact same spot. He seems interested, so I take a minute to explain basic genetics and how some physical traits can be passed from generation to generation. He listens for a bit with that slightly glazed expression that says I am boring him again, then turns and runs out of the room. In the living room, I hear him exclaim to his older sister “Sissy, I have grandma hair!” 

Hmmm... perhaps he DID get that lesson after all!  Now I'm wondering what ELSE he is picking up on when I think he's not paying attention...

And so it begins...

After spending many Sunday mornings discussing the latest things my kids have said and done that made me laugh, sometimes to the point of tears, a friend of mine suggested I should start a blog.  So, I've finally gotten around to it.

As a brief introduction, my children are currently 10 and 7.  We live in a somewhat rural community with two dogs, a cat, a few gerbils, and some fish.  We also board a pony in the next town over.  With all those pets, and the kids at an age where they are becoming somewhat independent, there is almost always something interesting (well, hopefully it's interesting to more than just me) going on in our household.